Im hoping its a beautiful day tomorrow.  Im not going to go to the zoo like i had planned, instead im going on a journey with the youth.  We decided to do these journeys in the youth ministry as something fun to do thro the summer with the youth. What  this is, is if you want to go you show up at the church at 9am with 5 dollars and then Pastorand whatever youth staff people that are available will take the youth out to have fun all day till 5pm.  The kids dont know what we will be doing they are only told to bring certain items.  It seems like something they are excited about we got 16 kids who are planning to show up tomorrow so we will see how this goes.  It looks like i might be the only youth staff person that can show up tho besides Pastor and his wife.  It should be fun tho i plan to take my camera with so maybe i’ll have pictures for the blog tomorrow.

As far as today, it went really good  I had another happy day! YAY! it was another beautiful day today work was pretty steady which was nice so i stayed busy for the most part. After work i came home and relaxed a bit at the computer then headed out to church for youth night.  We did a BBQ this evening and we had perfect weather for it. The sun was out the sky was clear it was 69 degrees i think and a slight breeze which kept the mosquitoes away! it was great!

After that I came home and did my bible reading for the day.  I can’t believe in 4 days i’ve gone through 50 chapters in the bible, finished up Genesis today.  Its interesting to i didn’t realize most all the stories i heard in Sunday school as a child where in Genesis.. i know Creation was there,… but I didn’t realize the story of Abraham, was there.. altho now that i think of it that should have been obvious.. i didn’t realize Sodom and Gamora was there. The story of joseph and all that.. so that was cool. reading thro the geneology was challanging, but I made it through it all

Well that’s pretty much it, i should bring this to and end and get ready for bed cause i have an early day tomorrow.  Hoping for another sunny day

YAY!! I have made it 3 days on the Bible in 90 days so far! I have read up to chapter 40 in Genesis and Im amazed at how much I have learned already.  Im amazed at God’s Mercy and His grace.  His Faithfulness and all.  Very cool.. It gives me Hope!  

Today at work was really slow!! I think during my whole shift I had maybe 10 customers lol.  It was a beautiful day outside so I imagine there was a LOT of people at the lake or other places enjoying the sun.  The weather lately has been so muggy and cloudy, so today was nice for a change.

We now have a microwave at work YAY!! Im excited, it will come in handy and help me save money too. No more having to go grab something for lunch or dinner, i can start bringing it with me… Now all we need is a little frig.

I rented the movie Fool’s Gold tonight.  I like Matthew McConaughey It was an alright movie.  I’ve been in a movie kick lately. 

Well it’s late again I wanted to be in bed by 11 and here it is a little past midnight so i better go.

Honestly had a good day. The weather wasnt the greatest so i didn’t go to the zoo like i was planning on, but i still had a good day. I actually had a very nice productive day. I got my bible reading done this morning. Then I cleaned my room, took care of my laundry pile up. Went over my budget for the next month. cleaned my car out, got some exercise in and ended the evening with the fresh start ministry. Tonight was good they showed us step by step how to process issues withe the green processing book. The teacher shared his testimony while he did this and he has a pretty awesome testimony. God has brought him thro a lot of things in his life. So after tonight i think im ready to start doing some processing this week. We will see how this goes. its really cool even tho i haven’t physically sat down and processed issues out i have already been thinking about them and have noticed a change already in the past 2 weeks or so. So Im really excited about all this. Im so ready to start walking in freedom.

Well its 10:30 my goal is to be in bed around 11ish, something i just recently decided i wanted to work on, was getting on some sort of a schedule again. So this blog is gonna be cut short tonight. Blessings!! <><

Well I’m doing better today. YAY! I went to the movies this evening. I did not go by myself tho. I ended up going with a friend of mine and her co-workers 2 teen age daughters. We had fun I didn’t see the happening tho, i had heard that it wasnt worth seeing, so i thought about going to see the hulk, but Katie was more interested in seeing Kung Fu Panda so we did that instead. It was good. Not AS good as i heard it was going to be, but i still enjoyed it and don’t feel like i wasted my money so thats a good thing

Well yesterday i came to a sad realization.. the past month while dealing with depression i gain some of my weight back.. UHG.. so back to the diet and getting exercise. Im actually looking forward to it cause the past week i havent been feeling all that great or sleeping well and im ready to start feeling better again.

Today I signed up to read the Bible in 90 Days.. thats going to be a challenge.. I singed up with a group of people.. i think there is a total of 6 of us and it starts today.. which i havent done my reading for the day yet so as soon as I get off the computer here I have 16 chapters to read hehe

Well i’m hoping tomorrow will be a nice day I have a day off YAY! and im hoping to get outside and enjoy the day! Well like i said I have reading to do so i better log off here and get to reading so i can be in bed before 1am

Well, today started out nice. The sun was out, work was easy. I got to sit out in the sun and read a book for work today. But things kind of went down hill this evening. Been doing some thinking, which isn’t always a good thing. Tonight Im down and feeling worthless. This week I have had to talk with my ex on a few different occasions and it’s been a little bit hard. I find myself asking… Why am I not worth fighting for? I look at past relationships.. not only my ex husband and ask the same question. and on the note i think i’m gonna keep this blog short.

 

Its not always easy to practice what preach. I gave a friend advice the other day and it’s good advice but I find myself in the same situation tonight and having a hard time taking my own advice. Although compared tot he past few months i’m doing better now then i would have before so thats good. having a bit of a down night but really not too bad. I’ll get myself out of this.

Well tomorrow the new M. Night movie comes out…”The Happening” I would really like to see this movie. Im toying with the idea of going to see it on my own. I don’t know though. I have never gone to the movies alone and don’t know if I can bring myself to do it. I’m afraid I’ll go and then spend the rest of the evening depressed. So yeah not sure what I’m gonna do about that lol I don’t know anyone else who wants to go see the movie except my brother and his friends… all my friends are into the cartoon type movies which are OK but I prefer the action, thriller, suspense over cartoon anytime. So Anyway i’ll let you all know if i get the nerve to go alone or not.

lets see.. today i went to the bank to fill out paper work to see if i get to keep my car or not. I’m suppose to hear about that sometime and the end of next week. not really sure whats going to happen there, trying not to worry about that too much.

This week has kind of been going slow. i been working every day this week. that will be nice come pay day . YAY! We had a sale going on all week. a side walk sale. It hadn’t gone to well tho.. it’s rained every day but the first day but the good news is , people still showed up and bought stuff from inside anyway

Well its really been a boring week so i don’t have much to blog about I been in a movie kick lately. been getting home at night and watching a movie with my mom. Tonight we watched Mona Lisa Smile. The night before we watched Apollo 13. So Anyway this is a boring blog lol so i’ll go ahead and end it here. hopefully next time i’ll have something interesting to say.

Well to start off today we celebrated my Sister-in-laws birthday. We got ice cream cake and just had a small family celebration. It was a surprise we didn’t tell her we planned to celebrate it today. her birthday is tomorrow…well it’s past midnight now.. so tech her birthday is today and I’m blogging about yesterday hehehe anyway she was really surprised and enjoyed the day so that is good
I then went into work today which was kind of a slow day.. or at least it felt slow, but by the end of the day we had done really good in sales. Had something sad happen during my lunch break. For lunch i decided to go over to Taco Bell and as I was leaving I saw a mother moose and her calf run across the highway. The baby didn’t make it all the way tho It was sad to watch the momma moose she kept going back to the baby to mourn. the cops had to chase the mother off with flairs so that they could remove the calf from the road. As i was stuck in traffic…and i wasn’t even on the road the calf was hit on… only reason i was stuck is cause both cars in front of me stopped to pull out their cameras and take pictures.. so I had no choice but to sit and wait. and the sad thing is they were not taking pictures of the momma moose who was alive and moving around.. nope.. they were taking pictures of the poor calf and the cops moving its body. I have to admit, i pulled out my camera.. but it was only to get a picture of the Mother moose once she was gone and away from the scene. I felt bad for her when once again after they moved the body off to the side she ran back over to her baby Thank goodness moose don’t have a very good memory and in time she wont even remember this horrid day for her. But I feel bad for her for the next days that she knows.
Okay on to other things, wow that was a downer of a story… after work I came home chatted online for a little bit then I did some bible reading out of jeremiah for my Lord Heal My Hurts book. I read the first 3 chapters of Jeremiah and i’m interested in how they will tie this in with Lord Heal My Hurts. We shall see. After that my brother talked my mom and I into running to the store to get stuff to make Mexican bean dip. So we did that and then watched Apollo13. That’s a good movie and it has been a long time since I have seen it. I was thinking about the first time i saw it. My Dad took me to the movies to watch it one night while my mom had some church meeting to go to. That was very special for me. I think that is one of the very few times that Just my Dad and I went out to do anything. I think the only other time we went out was to take a drive to another town for a car part. So anyway that was a mice memory to think about, it was one i had forgotten about till just this evening.
Well now it is so late that it’s actually early so i better bring this to a close so i can get this posted and get off to bed.

Ever feel like God is trying to get a message across to you? for the past 2 weeks it seems like every time i turn around i’m either seeing this verse written somewhere, someone either says it, or it’s being preached on! and then today when I was at work i sat down and on a spinner in front of me there are two plaques.. the first one says ” God keeps all of His promises” and the second one says “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.” -Isaiah 43:1 pretty cool huh?? Isaiah 43:1 is the verse I keep running into. Today I got home and looked it up and the two verses two follow it are really awesome as well… …”Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;… Isaiah 43:1-3

I went to Fresh Start tonight.. I really didn’t feel like it, but I made myself go anyway cause I know once you miss one meeting, it really easy to make an excuse to miss the next, and then the next and before you know it, your not even going anymore. So I went and was glad I did. Tonight the topic was the importance of being an Open Book. yikes…an Open Book I am not. Some people would think I am, but really I’m not, I do allow some of my Chapters to be open, but I control what parts of my book are open to people. I think a lot of people would be surprised if they saw my whole book. Tonight’s teaching really got me doing a lot of thinking though. I don’t like to let people in on my book cause I’m afraid. I’m afraid of what people will think of me. I’m afraid they would see me as a failure and be disappointed in me because of my struggles. Tonight the pastor was telling us that it’s ok to struggle. No one is struggle free. When we struggle and fail all we need to do is repent and continue to move forward. We don’t have to go back to he beginning and start all over again feeling full of shame. That is the lie from the enemy. The Lord just wants us to stand up, shake of the dust, and continue.

I have known this, but yet i’m still scared. Something I need to work through. Im scared of the judgmental “christians” Ones who can so easly see fault in other and not even see where they themselves have struggles. I know this fear comes from past hurts from other in the church in my past, and this is an issue of the heart that Im going to need to take time to process. It happened about 8 years ago and Im still walking around in fear and shame. Something I want to be free from. I’m so glad that I have started going to this Fresh Start Ministry. I’m learning a lot from it already and this is only my 3rd night. Now I just need to start working through these things and start putting what I learn to practice

 

Wow what a long day! today started out with an early church service at 9am at our church. till 10:30, then we all headed over to the sports complex center for the One Lord Sunday service, where about 3000 or so people gathered from about 12 different churches in the valley. It went really well.. this was the first One Lord Sunday service i have attended and it was pretty cool.

After that I came home relaxed for a bit and then fillered out some cards for friends of mine who are graduated from school of minsity this evening. That took place at 6. The ceremony went really good! The Gov. of Alaska even showed up and spoke at the graduation.  So YAY! Master’s have graduated  It was over all a really good day today.

I started day one in the Lord Heal My Hurts book, im still excited about it. Looks like the study will be taking place in the book of Jeremiah. Well i have been called into work in the morning so i better make this short and get to bed. Normally i have mondays off, but we are having a sidewalk sale this week at the store and she would like to have 2 people there at all times. So that is cool, more hours, bigger pay check.. always a nice thing

I hurt… Today was a busy day at work, and then right after work I went to a friends house to help them pack up. They are selling their house But thankfully they are not moving out of the state they just a few hours away, so I can still go visit them. After we worked on packing things up we ended the night with dinner at Chili’s. We finally got one in town and it just opened up last weekend. So the place was really busy to say the least, but the service was great for being so new and busy. No complaints here. I tried the chicken tortilla soup… omg it was soo yummyyyy Mmmm hehe

My books came in at work today! YAY! i only had enough money to buy one right now. I’ll get the other one on pay day. So tomorrow I plan to start going thro the “Lord Heal my Hurts” book. I was talking with my friend tonight, the one who is moving, about the book. She said she has gone through it and it is a really good book, was life changing for her. She talked to me a little about stuff she went through when going throught the book and just gave me some encouragement. So that was really cool.

Oh yeah while i was at work today i flipped through that one devotional i was looking at the other day and i did some more reading out of that. The chapter was Living Well With Pain. Talking more about how people with leprosy suffer so much cause they don’t have the pains warning system. and talking about how so often we look at pain as being the enemy but really pain is a gift. it’s set up to warn us when damage is taking place and if we pay attention to it we can learn from it. learn to take care of ourselves better. The only time Pain becomes the enemy is when we allow the pain to take over us.

“pain is a priceless essential gift- of that I have no doubt. And yet only by learning to master pain can we keep it from mastering us.” – Dr Paul Brand

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings, by changing the inner attitude of their mind, can they change the outer aspects of their lives” – William James

This book was also talking about the importance of taking care of a wound. When we are hurt and it has gone deep, it’s important to cleanse the wound and to get EVERY speck of dirt and grime out to prevent infection.

to often when we are hurt by people we then to want to just put a “band-aid” over it and call it good and move on. But as time goes on and the wound isn’t taken care of it gets worse and worse. This is something i tend to do way too much. I try to ignore the problem, the wound, cover it up and move on. But then i find out that if i dont take care of things It can end up destroying things in the present and future. i start to act out and make decisions based on the past hurt which is never good. you get irrational and make decisions based on emotion and fear. never a good thing.

So ANYWAY.. thats what i read today and just thought i would share that with whoever may be reading my blog. Well it’s late and I have an early morning so i shall call it a night. Until my next blog…<><